When Nintendo isn’t putting out GOTY-worthy titles, disappearing emulators or gunning down YouTubers for pointing potential customers in their direction, it’s… also not building the Switch 2. That’s right. The Switch 2 was a lie, a cover-up, hiding the real thing. Meet Alarmo, the R1,700 ($100)… alarm clock.
Wait, we’ve got our maths wrong there. Being the mastermind of customer satisfaction it is, Nintendo limits the sale of Alarmo units to the sixteen or so people who subscribe to the Switch’s Online service. That’s another R260, knocking up the price to the R2,000 mark for something our smartphones can do. But, you know, worse.
Big Sleep won’t like this one
Wake up! Nintendo Sound Clock: #Alarmo is available for early access for Nintendo Switch Online members in the US and Canada!
This interactive alarm clock lets you set a time and select from 35 scenes from across 5 Nintendo titles. More titles to be added later! pic.twitter.com/PzwoYn1xy3
— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) October 9, 2024
Alarmo exudes Nintendo. It’s one of the company’s stranger products (that’s saying something). It does what you expect an alarm clock to do but with a distinctly Nintendo flair. You get it. Set the time you want to wake up, and it’ll do just that, except it’s playing some of the big Red N’s most iconic themes.
You’ll recognise those themes if you’ve waded through Breath of the Wild, Super Mario Odyssey, Splatoon 3, Pikmin 4, and Ring Fit Adventure. We’re excited to see just how much Nintendo’s marketing team can hype up the release of new themes from Animal Crossing and Mario Kart 8 like it’s a Smash character reveal.
Fortunately, it’s not just an alarm clock. Half-decent sleep-tracking tech is baked in that’ll offer up stats and tell you how much you’re moving around in your sleep. Those sensors also make Alarmo a hand-free setup that allows for a simple arm wave or head bump (into your pillow) to make Mario shut the hell up.
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It’s also got your favourite characters from those titles who can show up. Watch Mario napping before the 06h00 wake-up time, or see Bowser arrive to get your backside into gear if Alarmo senses you aren’t getting out of bed quickly enough (while the music gets more and more intense). That’s all expressed through the 2.8in LED display which, we weren’t going to mention, is somehow not a circle? Make it make sense, please.
We can appreciate that Alarmo isn’t a straight-up cash grab, but nothing can justify the R1,700 price tag, nor the very limited number of units on sale. Alarmo is currently only available to those Online members in the US and Canada. We’d advise keeping your expectations for a local release low. Very low.
