Cryptoland isn’t the kind of place you’ll find Bigfoot lurking. That’s Cryptidland. Totally different place. But Cryptoland is apparently a very real idea that might one day turn into a very real place. We’re not really sure why.
In case the name isn’t obvious, the idea is to make an island just for cryptocurrency fans, at which point the jokes just write themselves. What do you call 1,000+ crypto-bros on a remote Fijian island? A good start. Okay, okay, we’ll stop.
Cryptoland’s on Fyre
Seriously though. The minds behind this “financial opportunity” intend to divide an island in Fiji up into three sections. That’d be Cryptoland Bay, a workspace/resort that’ll look amazing when posted on Instagram (we guess). Then there’s The House of Dao, which is reserved for blockchain startups.
And then there’s Blockchain Hills, where 60 people can buy 1-acre plots and actually live on the island. Far away from the reliable power sources you need to mine cryptocurrency. That’s right, the island will be powered by diesel generators. Several bits of important infrastructure will also be on the mainland, like the laundry, some offices, garbage storage…
Cryptoland’s founders apparently intend to purchase the island of Nananu-i-cake in Fiji, funding the purchase with the minting and sale of NFTs. The island will be converted into a mythical crypto-paradise, where up to 60 plots will be sold off — for 319ETH (about R18 to R20 million) each. And nothing could possibly go wrong on a Fyre Festival scale, could it? Actually, that’s very possible.
We’re still not convinced that this isn’t some sort of elaborate joke. But the presence of Kyle Chassé and Charlie Shrem (more or less) suggests that the island’s founders are serious. But the video, linked above, suggests otherwise. Part hype video, part low-budget and demented 3D animation, it’s almost impossible to believe that it’s supposed to be taken seriously. There’s an anthropomorphic bit of crypto and enough terrible jokes to make you take someone’s wife (please) before things get serious with founders Max Olivier and Helena Lopez.
Even so, we don’t see how this idea could possibly work. It’s an interesting concept, to be sure. A digital nomad, crypto-rich, living (and working) in paradise? It’s the ultimate dream. But it does ignore a considerable amount of reality — like how tropical cyclones and a diesel-powered island full of tech-bros probably aren’t a great mix. Cryptoland… might not be the world’s greatest idea. But hey, at least we’re talking about it, right?