Almost our first thought upon hearing about the Withings U-Scan was ‘How are advertisers going to use this data against us?’ Since the little toilet gadget — our second this month — is designed to be peed on (or at), it could lead to some very… interesting responses in the old Facebook or Instagram feed.

Combine Withings’ newest body measurement device with the Kohler Dekoda, and you’ll have enough bodily emissions data to write scripts for at least two new Austin Powers films. Or you can confine said data to yourself (and anyone willing to purchase the ‘totally anonymised’ version of it).

You can U-Scan?

The device’s full title is the U-Scan Nutrio, and it’ll sit in your toilet like those good old Toilet Duck flush cleaners. Only, if your urine manages to turn the water in the bowl blue, you’ve probably got a problem this thing can’t diagnose. See, the toilet-based sensor only reads four data points about your fluid eliminations — ketone and vitamin C levels, bio-acidity, and your hydration levels.

That should be plenty to tell you more about what’s going on inside you, while the U-Scan’s app will tell you when you’re on target in much the same way as fitness trackers will give you optimal heart-rate zones.

The catch? Besides the Withings U-Scan Nutrio being a US-only release for now, the Wi-Fi-enabled pee-pee puck needs charging every three months, and it also needs replaceable cartridges to function. That’s an ongoing expense, on top of the R6,500 ($380) or R7,700 ($450) needed to purchase the setup in the first place. The Yanks have the option to auto-renew their cartridges, something we suspect won’t happen here.

There’s another version of the U-Scan, called the Calci, that keeps an eye on calcium levels. That’s handy for knowing whether you’re likely to be incubating kidney stones, and it’ll also track those bio-acidity and hydration levels. That version also has two packages, priced the same as the Nutrio option.