It happens every year. Folks who have never set foot inside a gym decide to take control of their destinies, travelling to those mysterious places where people go to get fit. Long-time members tend to react in various ways, from bemused to actively annoyed, as anyone who has had to duck a barbell at head height tends to be.
It might provide fodder for annual video compilations but it’s not always fun to hang with the newbies. Let the trainers sort that out. You, on the other hand, can outfit that spare room into something that’ll amp your body-sculpting efforts up to remarkable levels. It all starts here. Or, more likely, it starts with a discussion with your financial advisor. Once that’s done, consider this gym equipment.
Powercore Water Rower
Climbing into an ergometer is a simple way to work out your entire body while getting some cardio out of the way. Anybody who has any experience will tell you that the nastiest (and therefore best) one you can use features a large propeller and a water tank, for the most authentic experience. You’ll almost feel like you’re stroking your way down the Thames (that’s a far less dirty sentence if you’ve got a coxswain handy). But you’re not. You’re at home, pumping back and forth and working up a sweat. Do you need any more than this? That depends.
R11,000 | Buy it here
Assault Air Bike Classic
There’s the stationary bike and then there’s this — the Assault Bike. We’re not sure what you’re training for but this will get you into the right condition to take it on. On the other hand, if you don’t like cardio, you’re really going to hate full-body cardio. Arms, legs, lungs — this machine will wring them all into wet noodles in short order. The fan that replaces the flywheel ensures that your workout goes exactly as hard as you’re capable of. At all times. For the full Laird Hamilton experience, install the Assault Bike in a sauna and have your gym sessions there. A pair of oven gloves will stop you from losing the skin on your hands.
R32,000 | Buy it here
Tunturi SM90 Full Smith Machine
Arnie spent loads of time in the gym, turning the discipline he learned there into a perfectly sculpted body. He also used that focus to become a movie star, the Governer of California, and a few other things. He’s worth emulating (except maybe the housekeeper thing). You can do that by, in part, dropping around fifty grand and bolting this thing to the floor of the room it’s about to dominate. If there’s a muscle group you’re looking to exercise, this fully-loaded Smith machine will let you do it. Don’t spend all your time lifting the metal bits. Become friends with the pull-up bars. Don’t neglect the squat rack. With a Smith machine, every day can be leg day. You won’t even have to wobble to your car in the gym parking lot.
R46,850 | Buy it here
Flexi Muscles 32kg Adjustable Dumbell
Sometimes, though, you really have to swing large lumps of weight around at the ends of those things you call arms. Not everybody has the necessary room to squeeze in a home gym and even a weight rank might take up too much space. This adjustable weight will improve with you, letting you rack up reps in increments of 2kg, up to a total of 32kg. The only snag? That price is for a single dumbbell. If you’re looking to exercise both arms (and your chest, shoulders, core, back…) at the same time, you’ll have to shell out R11,000. Even so, a pair will take up minimal space in your home gym.
R5,500 | Buy it here
Angry Fit Non-Motorised Treadmill
Do you conduct the sort of workouts that can power gym equipment by their sheer intensity? Yes? Then the Angry Fit treadmill might be for you. It’s entirely manual, letting you dictate the pace of your protein-fuelled sprint towards your morning shower. This means you’re not at the mercy of South Africa’s ageing power infrastructure when going for a run. You’re also not at the mercy of South African weather, but you will be at the mercy of your weakness for industrial-sized boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Maybe if you move your legs fast enough, those calories won’t count.
from R8,000 | Buy it here
