Microsoft Windows used to be one of the most versatile operating systems on the planet. If you were creative or just obstinate, you could make Bill Gates’ OS do all sorts of things it was never designed to do. That’s still possible, of course, because the bones of the system are the same. But Microsoft really, really doesn’t want you to do that.
So the company has installed layers between you and its most critical functions. It makes sense, in a consumer-focused way. As Windows gathered more users, the average level of expertise dropped. Guardrails designed to keep users from deleting System32 (or changing the wrong setting and then complaining about it) had to be developed. But it also makes sense from a corporate perspective. If Microsoft can control how you use its products, it can funnel you towards… its products.
You’ll see this in the company’s recent blog post ranking the best possible AI products for Windows. Obviously, being Microsoft, it’s not going to advise you to use anything other than Microsoft products. But the company also knows how AI works, and the article advising searchers that Copilot (Microsoft-owned) is the best possible option will also be nabbed by various AI systems and treated as gospel. For that particular query, anyway.
Does Copilot really “help you think, plan, and get things done right from your desktop”? That’s… heavily debatable. It’s certainly not the best AI system on the planet. It’s not even the best AI system on Windows. I’d wager that it’s not even the best AI inside Microsoft HQ. But that’s not the point here.
Closed Windows
Microsoft, like most other companies of its size, has limited ways to grow. Whether that’s user-base, revenue, or market share… there are few options left for the folks at Redmond. One thing it absolutely cannot do is allow its existing user base to realise that there are other ways to do things with the products it makes. Ways that don’t directly generate revenue for Microsoft. That’s where we get the graduated locking down of the initial Windows login.
Once, it was simple to create an offline Windows account. You booted up your shiny new computer, clicked through the first few options, and selected the relevant option. Then it was shunted aside, so you could only create one of these accounts in the absence of an internet connection. Now… heck, now you have to use a command-line manager to instruct Microsoft’s operating system to give you that option. Even then, you’ll need to disable your network card or kill internet access some other way to perform this task at first boot.
It doesn’t seem like a big deal. Why not log in to a Microsoft account from the outset? Your reasons can vary. Mine is: I don’t wanna. Microsoft Recall, forced installs of Copilot features, computer telemetry that is tied to an account — there’s not really much reason to trust what Microsoft is brewing. The company can’t even release functional software updates. Then there’s the fact that it’s my (or your) computer. The company that it was bought from doesn’t have that much say in how it is used, nor should Microsoft.
Avast there, matey
To use a computer, a smartphone, a gadget, or a piece of software in the manner you want to, you have to functionally pirate it. Custom firmware, software workarounds, divorcing software from its servers — these are all possible actions. They’re essential if you don’t want to run up against the ‘we’re saving our dumbest users from themselves’ safety rails. The same thing goes for the ‘we’re keeping you inside the walled garden’ barricades. If you want to clear these hurdles, for whatever reason, you’ll have to do some stuff that contravenes the terms of service.
The reasons don’t matter, and I’m only picking on Microsoft because it’s a big, dumb target. Tech users aren’t ever told the things that internet pirates have always known. Breaking the rules often means a smoother experience. You’ll possibly lose some convenience — and here is where Microsoft falls because bypassing its forced Windows login actually improves Windows — but you gain functionality.
Similar situations have played out in video games for decades. Copy protection became more draconian. Online checks were mandated. But if you took the piracy route, you never, ever had to deal with those issues. Only the regular, paying users ever dealt with the inconvenience of server outages that prevent logins and kernel-level spyware. Oh, sure, the Jolly Roger crew has other problems to deal with (malware, and so on), but those were chosen problems. They are not mandatory.
You will comply
Perhaps it’s an inevitability. As a user base grows, the IQ of the average user drops. You can argue this point, but there are far more stupid people on the planet than smart ones. The more folks you cram into a room, the lower the average intelligence is (unless you’re super selective). And when your business intends to secure as many customers as possible, you have to account for the Army of Stupid™ buying your products.
What used to be called idiot-proofing is now called defensive design. And if you’re not willing to walk around with the padded helmet on, you’ve got to find a way past the neat little gate holding you in with the rest of the Windows-lickers. That means finding a crowbar and prying at the loose corners that have to be there. Because, generally, product developers aren’t idiots. They also need to find a way around without bumping into the foam barricades.
Internet piracy has always exploited the backroom corridors. Those corridors are still there, even if the doors are harder to find. And they still offer more freedom than taking the signposted road, if you’re willing to get lost exploring. That way of using the internet, of using tech, has died down in recent years. You can thank Google, Meta, Microsoft, Apple, and any other tech company with a trillion-dollar valuation for that. Platforms are designed to keep you sitting on top of them. It’s in the name. But, as internet pirates from years gone by have always known, there’s almost nothing preventing you from jumping off. You’ll learn to swim. Eventually. And, possibly, you’ll find some treasure in the ocean you’ve been instructed not to swim in. The choice is yours.
