Here’s a guide on how to become a COVID-19-fighting superhero

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As the resident comic book expert (or complete dork) at Stuff I felt like a post regarding superheroes and COVID-19 was well overdue. Sure, we wrote about how you could pick up a load of Marvel comics for free but that’s quite the angle I’m going for this time. COVID-19, while not as severe as it used to be, is still a problem that requires a solution and if all my years reading comic books has taught me anything, the best approach is to don a mask (hopefully already done) and invent some cool gadgets to aid you in your crusade against crime…or germs, in this case. So it’s time that we finally brought to light the tools used by our ever-vigilant coronavirus hating avenger. A champion of sanitation and health the Stuff team knows only as: Doctor WHO.

Doctor WHO, whose real identity is still unknown, struck a deal with me. They’d let me in on how they made their incredible COVID fighting tech and I’d help them spread the word about their great deeds. It’s kind of like how Peter Parker has a deal with Spider-Man to take his photos because they’re totally not the same person. Turns out, Doctor WHO is really active on YouTube and TikTok so it makes sense that their gadgets were inspired by both platforms. Here’s what they’re working with:

Hand Sanitiser Web Shooter

Inspired by a TikToker by the name of Jake Laser (@jlaservideo), Doctor WHO’s most useful tool is their Hand Sanitiser Shooters. An elegantly simple design that involves minimal costs, all you really need are two lighters, a load of hand sanitiser, a syringe and a 3D printer. Okay, that last one’s a little tougher to find but enough people are offering facilities like that today, so hopefully, it won’t be too difficult to track one down.

Portable, small and light, sitting comfortably on a wrist, Doctor WHO’s shooters took just an afternoon to build and have really come in handy for on the fly cleaning. They use it on door handles, phones and even blasting the hands of allies (and enemies) who’re just a little less conscientious about the pandemic.

Mask Gun

“Now, don’t me wrong. I’m not a violent hero, but when I see people in public not wearing a mask… well it makes me want to pull the trigger,” said Doctor WHO in one of the few quotes they actually allowed me to use on the record. Strange considering how easily it could be taken out of context but I suppose they’re fighting crime with their equipment, not their brain.

Of course, Doctor WHO isn’t speaking about an actual firearm, that would just make the situation much worse. They’re talking about their Mask Gun, a device that fires masks onto people’s faces. Again, they were kind enough to share a video of their inspiration, this time from YouTube. Allen Pan, a man known for making all kinds of quirky, silly gadgets on his YouTube channel created a “launcher” as he calls it that fires masks onto people’s faces.

It’s a simple concept that works pretty well…sometimes. Obviously shooting a mask accurately is difficult given that the actual shape of the thing is pretty much designed to be non-aerodynamic. Still, with a few tweaks and changes, Doctor WHO says they were able to craft the most effective Mask Canon possible. Apparently he once sniped a 55-year-old “No masker” from around 700m away. That’s why you’re the hero, Doctor WHO.

Parting Words

After delving into so much of their cool tech, I wanted to ask Doctor WHO if they had any more insight into fighting the coronavirus. Who better to ask than the person who’s dedicated so much of their existence to stopping this pandemic? They had one thing to say:

“All of you, stop being idiots. Just think about the person next to you. Seriously, I don’t care if you hate the mask, maybe just wear one so you don’t accidentally kill your Nana next time you hug her? I shouldn’t need to exist, you think I want to spend all day spraying people and shooting masks? I have a family, man. Just stop being shitty people and wear a damn mask.”

Wise words indeed, Doctor WHO.

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I completed a Masters Degree just so someone might take my opinions seriously one day. Also writes about video games over at Critical Hit.

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