There’s a market for absolutely everything these days. Have you seen the Craigslist advert for the guy that’s willing to pay $150 to just hang out in your septic tank and film the experience for some reason that’s apparently not a fetish? People like that have proved that you can sell anything on the internet and if you’re famous enough, then you might even be able to sell an intangible part of yourself. Specifically your soul.
Well, that’s musician Grimes’ plan. Just after naming her newborn baby (fathered by tech billionaire Elon Musk X) Æ A-Xii, she’s decided that rather than ruining her child’s primary school experience further, the next step is to get into soul dealership. Grimes will sell a part of her soul to the highest online bidder, in the form of a legal document. What can one do after acquiring a piece of Grime’s soul? Well…after cleaning off the dirt, maybe you can lock her into some kind of life bond? Or you could sacrifice it to whatever dark lord takes you fancy. We’re not one to judge.
Speaking to Bloomberg, Grimes said that she was initially going to sell her soul piece for $10 million “to deter collectors” but opted to rather go the auction route to due to the quickly crumbling world economy. Nice of her to be looking out for us blue-collar workers.
Yet the most important question is which part of her soul is on sale? If you’re putting it up for auction, then it needs to be a premium cut of soul. While nearly every part of Grimes soul will probably be covered in…grime, we’d rather have something valuable like the head or a prime cut of soul elbow. No grubby feet or over-valued shoulders for us, thanks. Those pieces are just so much more versatile, especially in the sacrificial process. You think you can honour an Elder God with a gross soul tummy? They only accept premium soul parts.
The online auction will take place at Gallery Platform Los Angeles until 3 June and then move to Maccarone Los Angeles until 31 August. So if you’re a complete idiot with too much money, get your credit card ready for the most useless auctioned item of all time.