Brace yourselves. The cold front hitting the country this weekend will be brass monkeys — as in ‘cold enough to freeze the ‘nads off a’. Much of the country will enter the low single- and double-digits, and if you’re not lucky enough to live in Durban, you’ll have to do some compensating.
We’re just as concerned at Stuff Towers about whether we have the right gear, so we rounded up some items to keep you warm. Who doesn’t need a gas heater, microwave beanbag, electric blanket, or wood-fired stove? As with most preventative measures, everything should stand you in good stead during future cold snaps.
Mitigate the cold front with some (or all) of these suggestions
Salton 3 Panel Gas Heater
R1,200 | takealot.com
These three-panel heaters are the bedrock of surviving winter. Compact enough to sit out of the way, big enough to heat a very large area, and entirely independent of whatever Eskom is up to, a three-panel heater is a must-have during South Africa’s colder moments. Operation is as simple as hooking up a nine-kilogram gas bottle (not included), opening the valve, and pressing the ignition button. Until now, I hadn’t realised that the spark thing you click to turn one on utilises piezoelectric ignition. The more you know…
Add this
A 9kg gas bottle is essential for making a three-panel heater function, but unless you shop around, you’ll almost certainly be exchanging and not filling it. The catch is, you need an empty one to exchange. This one will run you R700 (until 30 July), but you’ll want to budget another R300 or so for swapping it for a full one. It’s also wise to have a spare in reserve, in case the cold front lasts longer than expected.
R700 | Buy it here
Alva Outdoor Butane Mini Heater
R750 | alva.co.za
A three-panel heater might be toasty, but it’s not especially portable. A small camping heater, like this Alva effort, will have you out bird-watching, hanging washing, or, you know, sitting in a tent with noticeably less shivering involved. Small enough to pop in your car and operating on those ubiquitous butane gas canisters (which cost about forty bucks each), they could be just what you need to leave the house when the weather is blustery. It won’t stave off the whole cold front, but if you sit in front of one, at least your front won’t be cold.
Microwaveable Heating Bags
from R130 | crazystore.co.za
Generally used for warming injuries or soothing cramps, a microwaveable bag can also provide increased heat to a particularly chilly area of your body. Provided you can balance or otherwise hold the bag in place — bandages or exercise strapping could help there. This example is filled with ceramic beads, will retain heat for around 40 minutes, and should heat up without any noticeable smells permeating your home. Other options use buckwheat or beans of some description as filler, but those will have folks at your home or office wondering what you’re cooking.
Hot Water Bottle
from R80 | checkers.co.za
Hot water bottles may seem so last century, but they work. And they’re cheap. Plus, you can order them with your grocery shopping, so the only time you’ll feel the cold is when you’re collecting the bags. After you’ve spared a thought for your poor delivery chappie, boiling a kettle and filling the bottle will give you a portable heat source. Just beware, if you pop one on your lap under a blanket while watching Showmax, you’re likely to attract cats. We reckon the old-school vinyl versions, while the cheapest, tend to offer the best value, but you can spend up to several hundred on one if visuals are as important as being warm.
Reusable Hand Warmer
You never know when a cold front will strike (unless you’re a meteorologist), so why not have something that’ll slip into a pocket handy? Reusable hand warmers come in a few varieties — USB-rechargeable ones (which make us very nervous), those based on chemical reactions, and then Zippo’s lighter fluid refillable hand warmer, which is like having a pocket-sized potbelly stove secreted away in your car. They’ve all got ups and downs — we can’t stop worrying that the lithium-ion versions are about to blow up, for instance — but if you don’t mind boiling before reuse (chemical warmers) or a… pungent experience (looking at you, Zippo), you can pick your toasty poison.
Down Puffer Jacket
from R2,000 | capeunionmart.co.za
Dads tend to know a thing or two about dressing sensibly, if not stylishly, and a pending cold front is an argument for the former over the latter. Add a puffer jacket as your top layer, and you’ll find yourself braving the frosty winds while wearing less than every long-sleeved shirt you own for a change. Filled either with synthetic materials or duck (or other avian) down (seriously, opt for the duck down), a decent puffer jacket operates in the same vein as low-temperature sleeping bags. Heated air is trapped close to the body, while windproof materials stop Mother Nature from robbing you of that same warmth.
Now add this:
Check your cupboard before heading out to the store for one of these. Odds are there’s at least one beanie tucked away in the recesses, next to those old cloth COVID masks. Much of your heat loss is via the top of your head. Keep that warm, and you’ll add a bunch more comfort to your cold front travels.
Electric Blanket
from R640 | clicks.co.za
In the dead of winter, there are few things as enjoyable as getting into a bed that is already toasty. Electric blankets are truly some of the best gifts of the electric age for warm-weather Africans. Budget options exist everywhere, from single to king-sized beds, but you can also go premium if you’re particularly cold-impaired. Larger blankets offer two-sided temperature settings to account for differences between internal body temperatures. Which exists, and don’t ever let anybody tell you any different. One person is always warmer than the other, and that’s the person who has cold feet or hands pressed against them at night. But if the whole bed is warm… well…
