What’s worse than having a hipster as your best friend? That’s right; having to buy your hipster best friend a Christmas gift. There are only a finite number of Rick and Morty, uh, tea trays to go around. It helps that you know they’re into tech, but for the life of you, nothing ever seems to please them. Anything Apple is out as is something from Samsung’s catalogue. A Nokia phone with a 1.77in display, though? Now you’re starting to get it.
So what’s the trick? Hide a piece of tech in a retro-looking shell with the occasional splurge of leather and you’re golden. Fret not. Stuff has compiled a list of all the best retro tech that’ll leave that hipster-retro friend a little happier on the other side of Christmas. We’ve done all the work — though you’ll need to pick up a copy of the December/January issue of Stuff to get our meatier and considerably more extensive list. You can either do that right here or try your luck with one of those stores that sell magazines. There’s a good chance we’ll be there, but when you’ve got a perfectly good couch calling your name, why take the risk?
2023 Gift Guide – Retro Edition
An actual Arcade Machine
If you’ve ever brought up gaming around the exact friend we’re describing you’ve probably heard this statement (more than once): “Street Fighter 2 is the only game worth playing,” before describing a dark and dingy room surrounded by LED screens he claims was where he grew up. In short, an arcade. So… get them that.
Not an arcade (unless your Christmas bonus went super well this year), but a real-life arcade machine that won’t require a mortgage application to get into your home. One that’s got Street Fighter on it, alongside 1,999 other games. Hell, it’ll even make that friend some money, if they’ve got a dark- and dingy-enough room of their own to stick it into. We’d like to see a PS5 pull that off.
R8,700 | cosmiccomics.online
Azio Retro Compact Keyboard
We totally understand the urge to own a typewriter. It somehow makes you feel like you’ll get more writing done – on a piece of tech that hasn’t been used since the 80s. It doesn’t. We would know. But a regular keyboard that looks like a typewriter? Sign us up.
It’s slathered in that leather stuff we mentioned earlier, can connect to a PC or Mac, and won’t annoy anybody who happens to be in the vicinity. It’s still that got a satisfying clicky-clack that’s all you’re really after in a typewriter. The keys are backlit too, providing yet another excuse for that friend to put off their writing as they bemoan the keyboard’s authenticity. Trust us, they’ll love it.
$230 (R4,350) | amazon.com
Koss Pro-4AA Headphones
The Koss brand goes back. Way back. It launched the subject of this guide — the Koss Pro-4AA — a burly pair of studio-quality headphones that manages to perform (and well) while holding onto all the usual hallmarks that just scream ’70s’. That means a coiled cord, “superior noise isolation” and more IBM Beige than you’ll know what to do with. They’re a handy gift for the retro-loving audiophile in your life who also happens to be a little clumsy, with Koss’ 70s build quality shining through. It helps that the sound isn’t all bad, either.
You can thank Koss’ dynamic 10-25,000Hz frequency response for that. You’ll struggle to find these in South Africa though. Amazon will get it to you, sure, but if you’re aiming for a pre-Christmas morning delivery, you’ll want to get moving. Fast.
$100 (R1,900) | amazon.com
Family Computer Retro Game console
If a real-life arcade machine doesn’t fit the Christmas budget, you’ll need to get creative for that gaming-loving retro friend. You can go down the licensed route of nostalgia-bait gaming with something from Nintendo or Atari directly. Licensed means expensive. Unlicensed is another story. We’ve found something that fits that bill (and budget) — a Famiclone which looks nearly identical to the original Famicom. That’s all that matters here, right?
If you do get the urge to pull this down off a shelf and turn it on, the included 132-in-1 cartridge should do a good job on Christmas morning. It’s got a few classics loaded up, like Super Mario, Kung Fu Master, and Contra to name a few, and even has two controllers that’ll get everyone involved on Christmas morning. We can’t promise the supplier will stick to a warranty like Nintendo or Atari would, but for R600, we reckon it’s worth the risk.
R600 | takealot.com
AKG Lyra C44
There’s a good chance the phrase “we should start a podcast” has been seared into the back of your brain. Any self-proclaimed retro-lover who wants to be anything in the podcasting world has probably heard of the AKG Lyra C44-USB microphone. Microphones are an essential piece of kit, and when it comes to one that took visual cues from the AKG C414 condenser, it’s difficult to ignore.
Quality comes at a cost, though. You’re paying a few thousand to get a hold of the mic’s HD audio, 24-bit/192 kHz conversion, a built-in shockmount, and a simplistic design that puts us in mind of a 1950s radio presenter. We’re not claiming that this specific microphone is a necessity for podcasting, vlogging or even producing music. It’s just an added bonus that’ll make everything that much more fun.
R3,550 | a1sound.co.za
NAD C 3050 Stereophonic Amplifier
You might want to sit down for this one. If your eyes have already drifted off to the price below, there’s no more hiding it. Our next gift — the NAD C 3050 Stereophonic Amplifier — will set your wallet back R38,000. Hell, we’d stay far away from picking this up for a friend. Rather get one of these for yourself. Pick up that unlicensed Famicom we mentioned and snag yourself an early Christmas present. Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with us.
As with almost everything on this list, it’s the vintage look that got us interested. The tech is great and all — especially in the case of the C 3050 — but there’s just something about that 70s look that gets us going. It’s directly inspired by the NAD 3030 amplifier, with dual illuminated VU meters, actual physical button controls, and a vinyl cabinet that dons a walnut coating to complete the retro look.
R38,000 | audioholics.co.za
Olympus E-M10 Mark IV
While we’re big fans of the Instax brand in the Stuff offices, the brand’s less-than-retro look might dissuade the crowd being bought for from taking an interest. That’s where the Olympus OM-D E-M10 Mark IV comes in. It ticks plenty of boxes tech-wise; a 20.3MP micro four-thirds sensor, 4K video capabilities, and a gorgeous 2.36m-dot OLED electronic viewfinder. That’s not all it can do, but we’d be here all day if we sat down and listed them.
It ticks all the design boxes too, being more into leather than Tobias Fünke. It might be missing a ‘traditional’ strobe flash, but the silver metal finish should do a good enough job at making up for that.
R13,800 | cameraland.co.za
Retro Stylish Bluetooth Portable Radio
Our final product is one that’ll make whoever owns it feel like they’re out living in some Fallout-themed world (before s*** hits the fan, that is). You can’t ask for more than that from the Bluetooth speaker/radio combo that’s on offer here. It’s got FM/AM/SW capabilities, a rechargeable battery, and a pretty wood coating that’s the sole focus of its inclusion here. That, and those two physical knobs that handle volume and frequencies. The added USB port and 3.5mm aux input don’t hurt matters, either.
R2,500 | takealot.com