Ultra-Light Start – Troll insurance, Ford electric cars, and offline Facebook
Brett Venter
‘Troll insurance’ is now totally a thing you can buy
If you’re finding yourself having to take out troll insurance, you’re either living in pre-Medieval Finland or you’re in the present day, dealing with a basement-dweller infestation. But you can indeed take out troll insurance, as that’s now a thing in the UK. People can insure their lives against interruption by trolls, to the tune of about R1.15 million, in the event that they require counselling or need to relocate as a result of online abuse. The insurance offering is available in the UK at present, though insurance company Chubb – who have nothing to do with fire extinguishers, so don’t call them asking about it. Unless you’re some kind of troll.
Ford is dropping an extra $4.5 billion on electric vehicles in the next five years
As you can see from the lovely little animated graphic (visit the website already email readers. Geez.) which we totally didn’t make because it’s Friday morning, Ford are going to be throwing a lot of investment cash at their electric vehicles. $4.5 billion, to be precise, and this money will be spent by 2020. In that time they’re looking to improve their battery tech, get thirteen different electric vehicles on the roads and expand EVs to growing markets. Asia seems to be their prime target for the latter but we’re a growing market too, right? Right? Oh, wait… Ne.. ne… nevermind.
Facebook wants to be your time-waster – even if you’re not connected online
Facebook wants to rule the universe. They don’t put it like that but it’s evident in their business practises. If aliens ever land, they will roll out a xenomorph-specific version of their information-harvesting scheme in the guise of letting them connect with friends back on Omicron Persei 8. This isn’t all the way there yet but Facebook is letting users on their mobile version use the service even when there’s no connection. Facebook will load the last known news feed, allowing users to browse and comment on said posts, until such time that an internet connection returns and everything that you’ve done updates. And you get you get your next fresh social media hit. But let’s be honest, if you’ve gotten to the point that you’re posting to Facebook when you’re offline then it’s probably time to seek professional help.
